People often ask me if I’ve ever wanted to drink alcohol since I stopped drinking... this picture was taken the day after I was made redundant in 2019. It happened about 6/7 weeks before Christmas.
I was also in the middle of buying my house. The thought of losing the house (that I’d already waited over 4 months for) was absolutely awful. I think this period of time was honestly the most stressful that I’d had in my adult life.
I had been sober for almost a year when I was made redundant and it was the first real time that I’d felt the urge to go out on a bender.
I wanted to self destruct. I wanted to go out. I wanted to dance. I wanted to chat shit to boys. I wanted to forget. I absolutely did not want to deal with this reality and I did not want to be me.
Luckily, I was heading to London for a weekend with my beautiful sister and our bloody amazing friend.
We ate lovely food. I drank AF beer. We went to a 90s tribute festival. We had a dance and a sing. We met the best Uber driver that we’d ever had, who had us in absolute stitches!
They looked after me and they told me everything was going to be ok.
They helped me make a plan for my next steps. They told me that they were proud of me. That they were worried that I’d want to drink and what they’d do if I tried (it involved a lot of smacking!).
Reflecting on this now, I realise that I’m so fucking lucky. I’m lucky to have friends and family that make me feel secure. I’m lucky for my sobriety (I dread to think what kind of state I’d have ended up in that weekend). I’m lucky that I got made redundant, I didn’t enjoy my job. I’m lucky that I was able to buy a house myself and call it home.
Things are sent to shake us, in both sobriety and life. I always say “everything happens a for a reason” and I’m yet to find a reason not to believe it.