Our relationship with alcohol can often start to reach parts of our lives that make us take a step back and think. In this guest blog, Amanda bravely shares how her relationship with alcohol changed during the pandemic and why she decided to choose a life filled with sober joy and devoid of hangovers that lingered and a lack of patience.
“My relationship with alcohol has always been to the extreme, from back when I was a teenager drinking purely to get drunk to most recently drinking two bottles of wine a night to “unwind”.
“I’ve done the dry January’s and been sponsored here and there, raised money for local charities and had the odd “break” to try and pull the drinking back but it never worked, I’m an all or nothing girl!
“Something shifted this past 18months, with a global pandemic and two small children, all of a sudden stuck at home with only a couple of days of work as a “break” I found myself increasingly turning to alcohol … it almost became the goal at the end of the day that I had to reach every single day. Little did I know in the background my mental health was worsening by the week, I have been on/off antidepressants for a few years but it reached its peak last year. My sleep was poor, my patience was at an all time low, I started seeing this particularly in my approach to parenting, which breaks my heart. I started to feel a sense of dread in the morning the sort of dread you feel after a night out in your teens that sinking “what did I do last night” …. When reality was I sat in my living room drinking two bottles of red wine and ultimately passing out in bed.
“In February 2021 something almost just clicked in my head like a light switch. I was at work. I felt rough, hungover and craving the carbs at 7am and I just thought to myself “what am I achieving here?
“It was that day I stopped drinking, I am now approaching the 6 month mark and I am not looking back. Some days I miss the taste of alcohol but I just remind myself of how much I hate how it makes me feel.
“I’ve always been the party girl … even since having kids I’ve been known as the girl who loves a good drink and that shouldn’t be your identity.
“I have gained so much in these 6 months …. Sleep, patience, my health improving and something that might not mean much to others but I’ve learnt that I am not boring … I never needed the alcohol to be fun or enjoy myself and that right there is pretty liberating.
“I started out thinking I would reset my relationship with alcohol but I’ve done much more than that. I’ve reset my relationship with myself and yes it’s early days but knowing that I don’t need or want alcohol on this journey is one of the best feelings.”
Amanda’s story is one that we believe so many people will be able to relate to. And really makes it clear how you don’t have to have a ‘rock bottom’ to start changing your relationship with alcohol. If you think that exploring sobriety will help you, please explore the website for more tips and resources. We’d also recommend checking out the sober community on Instagram. If you want to join a community of like minded people.
Please feel free to check out the Not So Secretly Sober Club.